Google Assistant Moved Into My iPhone and Can't Even Set a Timer
Google finally put its Assistant on the iPhone as a standalone app. It's smarter than Siri in conversation but locked out of everything that actually makes a phone useful.
Finally Patching My WordPress Install (Thanks, WannaCry)
WannaCry finally guilt-tripped me into patching my neglected WordPress install — here's what I found, what broke, and the monthly habit I'm setting up so it doesn't happen again.
Computex Turned Into a Core Count Flex-Off
Intel and AMD both used Computex this week to start throwing around ridiculous core counts, and it's made my 14-month-old quad-core desktop feel ancient.
My Arms Are Sore From a Video Game Called ARMS
A Memorial Day weekend spent throwing punches at my TV via Nintendo's ARMS Testpunch demo, plus a sore forearm, a drifting Joy-Con, and a very belated Windows update.
The Backup Routine I Should Have Had Two Years Ago
After watching WannaCry take down hospital systems on ancient Windows machines, I finally built an actual backup routine. Here's the boring, twenty-minute version that works.
Patching Dad's XP Box After WannaCry
A weekend spent patching my dad's forgotten Windows XP box after the WannaCry mess, plus the actual steps worth taking if you've got a similar zombie machine at home.
Patching My Mom's Laptop, Ten Days Late
A weekend visit turns into an unplanned patch job on my mom's neglected Windows laptop, ten days after WannaCry, and some notes on what I actually did to fix it.
The Weekend I Lost to an XP Box and a Kill Switch
A weekend spent patching an old XP box for a client, plus some thoughts on the 22-year-old who accidentally slowed WannaCry down and Microsoft's pointed blog post about the NSA.
The Guy Who Slowed Down WannaCry for About Ten Bucks
A UK researcher accidentally slowed the WannaCry ransomware worm this weekend by registering a random domain for about ten dollars, and that detail is stuck in my head more than the attack itself.
Microsoft Renamed the Design Language Again
Microsoft renamed its Windows design language again at Build 2017, this time to Fluent Design. A look back at Metro, Modern UI, and MDL2, and why the blur-and-depth comeback might actually be worth caring about.
Almost Fell For The Google Docs Worm
A close call with Wednesday's Google Docs phishing worm, and why the OAuth permission screen it exploited is basically useless as a warning system.
Blue Shells Are Back and I Regret Nothing
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe launched today and I've already lost half a night's sleep to it — thoughts on Battle Mode being good again, character stats actually mattering, and why now's the best time to play online before Nintendo starts charging for it.