So I've had the new Apple TV sitting under the television for eight days now, and I think I've finally figured out what bugs me about it. It's not the box. The box is fine, genuinely fine, small and black and quiet the way a set-top box should be. It's the remote.
Apple started shipping the fourth-generation Apple TV on October 30th, $149 for the 32GB model and $199 if you want the 64GB one (I didn't, and I still don't know why anyone needs 64GB on a box that doesn't record anything). The pitch this time isn't really "streaming box," its "tvOS is a platform now," with an actual App Store, actual third-party apps, and a remote with a glass trackpad on it because apparently every input device in 2015 needs to pretend it's a trackpad.
Here's the thing nobody tells you before you buy one: that glass trackpad is touch-sensitive along its entire surface, not just when you mean to swipe. I've knocked the volume on it, restarted an episode of a show, and accidentally summoned Siri twice just by picking the remote up off the arm of the couch wrong. My wife set it down on a cushion Tuesday night and it started scrolling through the Netflix row on its own like a poltergeist was flicking through Grey's Anatomy. That's not a nitpick, that's a design choice that's actively worse than the four-button clicker it replaced. I miss the old aluminum remote more than I expected to, and I say that as someone who defends Apple's hardware calls more often than not.
The App Store side is the part that's going to take a while to actually matter. Right now it's thin. You've got Netflix, HBO Go, a handful of games (someone ported Crossy Road to it, which is cute for about four minutes), and a lot of empty shelf space where the actual reason to own this thing is supposed to show up eventually. tvOS as a platform is a bet on developers showing up over the next year, not something that pays off in week one. I don't regret buying it, but if you're waiting for "worth it," you're probably waiting until sometime in 2016.
One thing I do like, no reservations: the aerial screensavers. San Francisco from above, New York at night, some canyon I can't place. It's a dumb little feature and I've caught myself just leaving it on the flyover of Hawaii instead of watching anything, which is not what a $150 box is supposed to make you do with your evening.
Small aside, unrelated except that it happened the same week: I almost bought my brother-in-law a Surface Book for his birthday and then found out the base model starts at $1,499 and quietly closed the tab. Microsoft's hinge mechanism on that thing is genuinely clever, I saw one in a store and the screen detaches clean off the keyboard, no cable mess, but I can't get behind spending that much on a laptop that still runs a fan loud enough to hear from across a room, at least according to the reviews I've read. Got him a gift card instead. He'll survive.
Back to the Apple TV. If you already own a Roku or a Fire TV Stick and you're happy, I wouldn't rush out to replace it. The tvOS interface is nicer to look at, no argument, and Siri search across apps is legitimately useful when it works (ask it to find "that show with the guy from Breaking Bad" and it mostly gets it right, which still feels like a magic trick even now). But the remote issue is real, and I'd rather have fewer sensors and a button I can find in the dark.
Also, three days until Fallout 4 comes out and I have already told my boss I'm taking the following Monday as a "personal day," which he did not question, because apparently everyone at this company already knows what November 10th is. I haven't touched a Bethesda game since Skyrim ate an entire winter of my life back in 2011, right around when I started this blog actually, and I have a bad feeling history's about to repeat itself. My backlog of actual responsibilities is not going to survive next week and I've made a sort of uneasy peace with that already.
Anyway. New Apple TV: good box, wrong remote, App Store that needs a year to grow into itself. Ask me again in the spring.